i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
