i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
