ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
