Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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