I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
