I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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