i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
