Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
