we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
