Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
