I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
PANTIES FOUND
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
