Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
