Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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