who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
