My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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