I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
