I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
