i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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