well I can't set my house on fire every night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
