I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
