goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
