i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
