Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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