She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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