garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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