Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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