Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
