One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
