No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
