I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
