And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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