He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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