I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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