he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
