I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
