dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
