would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
