Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
