I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you win again, gameday.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
