I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
