I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
