We're facebook friends in real life
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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