HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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