2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
