dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
