I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
