We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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