I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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