Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
