possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
