can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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