Me. At least after what I've been through.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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